10 Easy Steps To Get Rid Of a Controlling Man. A Useful Guide

10 Best Ways That Actually Work To Help You Get Rid Of a Controlling  Man.

We have been taught several times that love isn't war. Love is forgiving. Love doesn't ask how. And all that sweet talk, but just never to imagine that loving someone can be the biggest mistake of our life.

I have been there several times. We all been there.  When we’re that thin line between, battering or letting go.

What did they name me again? Oh, I remember. The controlling man. It's the worst title in this epoch. For the same lessons, I knew what women actually deserve.

Is it really a good idea to be a man who controls his woman?

There is a good reason women’s skin is naturally soft, height shorter than men, eyes like that of an angel begging to serve you, your highness.

Nothing belittles this heavenly connotation of a woman other than controlling her. 

It’s the worst possible idea any man could possibly think of. But again, I’m here to help you navigate the sanest and peaceful way to get rid of a controlling man.

Why are most women controlled?

If you ask me this question, I will giggle while glimpsing at you with a teary eye. History teaches enough proof that stems from religious and cultural practices. 

They were treated like property, in a nutshell. Like how you control your pet, where it should be. What it should do, what you don't want it to do. Just like how you control your land. Cultivate watermelons this season, carrots in the next. It worked that way with women for a very long time. Men controlled women. 

Even worse, in some Asian cultures, it is still believed that women are incapable of taking care of themselves and need a male guardian. 

I lived with colleagues from Somalia, a country with a majority Muslim population,  and they celebrated this culture as something normal.

Controlling women has been an alimentation of toxic masculinity in our society. That's why I'm here to discuss every bit of it and offer you the best ways to get rid of a controlling man.

Why do women never need to be controlled?

Before we can dive into the regimen, let’s just point out the basis of why women shouldn’t be manipulated and controlled by men.

It's that simple to get an answer to such a question in this modern world. 

  1. They're the men's counterparts and deserve equal rights and treatment.

  2. They have a properly working brain from a biological point of view. There has never been (and I certainly think they will never be) research that suggests women's brain functions are short of those of men's and controlling women bridges the gap.

  3. They've proved (which they literally didn't have to do) to the society of their potentials and capabilities in their various fields. 

  4. They're better at controlling too. They control most of the family's home activities like raising the child, cooking, cleanliness, and many others. They’ve full credentials to control and not the other way round.

As a woman, it's important to realize that a man who's controlling is an enemy of your prosperity.


A man is supposed to treat his woman as an equal. Consenting to every aspect of their relationship without blackmailing any due roles and duties of a woman in a relationship. 

Without further ado, let's jump right into the tactics to deploy in order to get rid of a controlling man.

Ways to get rid of a controlling man.

  1. Stop being a victim of his insecurities. 

Men have been accustomed to numerous insecurities in relationships and choose to place that on women's backs.

These women are being controlled just because their husbands are insecure about how beautiful they are. Or the new job. People they interact with when they leave the house.

Have you ever had a moment where your man denied you permission to go and visit your new male friend? And countless other times when he acted like your dad with no decent motives whatsoever? It's called controlling at its best. And you don't want to be part of that.

Those men will usually try and control these women as an initiative to quench their insecurities. 

You need to stop paying attention to his insecurities if they make no sense at all. As long as you're respectful carrying on with your activities. 

  1. Get an education. 

It's a shield women need to embrace with every beat of their hearts. Talk about it. Smile at it. Be thankful for it. 

You can't fight societal wars and battles without a weapon education.

Go for educational opportunities to update your academics scores and credentials.

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You will lose. When you reside with a controlling man, education will offer you a panel to think it through without even needing mentoring yet.

Having an education acts as a framework for most of the decisions you're willing to make. 

It's freedom at its pinnacle best. And that means a controlling man gets a head start. Having an education is a good way of training your brain to get what it wants.

  1. Get a job.

A job for you means an income. An income means more financial freedom. Men have used women's financial dependency to control and violate them. 

Finding a job as a woman who is prone to be controlled by your man, will make you be more financially free.

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Giving them the benefit of doubt, it's true that money comes with power. And as a woman, it's fair to share that piece of cake. 

When you harness your own power via financial freedom, you can perfectly get rid of a controlling man.

  1. Know your own rights.

A number of times this happens, the key reason is the level of ignorance women have pertaining to their own rights.

When you are dumb or naive to your own rights, that's a certificate to those who are willing to violate and control you to carry on.

You can learn of your rights via:

  • Forums

  • Webinars

  • Seminars

  • Social media posts from women/human rights advocate groups

  • Asking an expert.

  • Other special programs that aim at educating women on their own rights

  1. Inform his closest people of what he’s doing to you. 

To keep things under control,  it's always wise to try and resolve them. You have identified the issue with your man, who's controlling you against what you would like. The next step is to try and resolve that. 

  • Talk to his friends about it

  • Inform his elders. It can be his parents or guardians.

  • Inform his boss when necessary. 

Doing these things will help resolve the issue at its earliest stage.

  1. Balance your house and job activities. 

This gets down to how you're willing and ready to play housewife. There are many men out there who are ready to respect their women who happen to be housewives, without question.

Balance your schedule around home activities such cooking and doing laundry, with your income job

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It's because there is a strong correlation between controlling men and housewives. Being a housewife is a vulnerability to be controlled by a man in the house. 

Different studies have been conducted in countries like India, Bangladesh, China, etc. The results show there is an existing higher psychological well-being among housewives than in working women.

This depicts one thing, women staying at home in those regions, due to various cultural practices that discriminate against women to take part in various social, economic, and political activities—agree to do so in fear of being treated as outcasts. 

In order to safely get on board if you're coming from regions with such long-held prejudice against women, it's safe to balance your home and job duties.

  1. Re-define your boundaries.

Boundaries are not useful if they aren't explicit. Tangible and more important, lacking seasonal updates. Communicating to the man of your boundaries refrains his guts to make attempts to control you.

Define your boundaries to your man and make him abide to them.

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You remind him of how much you still deserve to be treated. Once a boundary takes too long without being re-defined, the risks of being controlled can ensue. 

Boundaries can be;

  • Don't touch my phone

  • Don't come to touch my body

  • Don't force me to do things I am not willing to do etc.

  1. Have your own financial goal.

This is to hammer a longer nail on your financial freedom that's key to breaking up the chain of a controlling man.

Create your own financial goals. Have your own house, bussiness, land etc.

During house hours you can utilize other activities that will earn you an extra income to speed up your financial goal. There are many best home practices that can be productive. Appropriate them and earn more financial freedom

If you want to succeed with ease, you have to make sure your financial goals have a future rhythm that aims at keeping you safe from all the traumas divorce can cause.

  1. Sign-up a prenuptial agreement. 

It's a legal agreement that scares off most toxic men from attempting to control their women, especially in a violent manner. Being in a relationship with such men can awaken other dating/relationship uncertainties.

It's better to have a legal advisor who will walk you through all the merits and demerits of such a decision. 

  1. Warn him before you pack your bags.

Controlling men are usually carried away with ego. It's important when things get worse to remind them of what you can actually do just in case they cross the line.

At last you've to choose your peace over anything else. If you can't resolve his controlling behaviour it's ok to let go.

Being controlled is in itself an act of humiliation. Walking by it, insanity and cherishing it, suicidal.

Should there be civil laws that specifically target men who are controlling their women?

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